Prayer chains can cure cancer

When random people inbox me saying they love my blog posts and books - or are obviously aware of my books - and then get offended and upset when their attempts to try and elicit romantic and/or otherwise serious chats is met with the sarcasm my books are popular for, it's quite amusing.

When people inbox me with those stupid "send this to 10 friends you care about" or "today is National stick a finger inside an Ostrich day, pass this on to everyone on your friends list to save the ostrich" or "send this on to everyone on your friends list otherwise you'll contract cancer" I get a teeny weeny bit annoyed.

Personally if I was laying in a hospital bed, dying of terminal cancer, and a friend or family member walked in and said "Hi Heather, sorry that you're going to die a slow and painful death but I've just started a prayer chain on Facebook for you. I hope that makes you feel better." I'd probably get out of bed and choke them to death with the IV drip.




Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Trying for an e-baby - Part 1

Image
Every so often a real gem comes out of my random Facebook exchanges; people who really deserve their own blog. There's been the one and only Jaka. There's also been Muhammad Ali and his year-long quest to teach me Islam and make me his wife, Paulson Woles and his romantic ramblings, and who can forget Chad the Impaler and his bipolar switch from passionate lover to angry terrorist? More recently there has been Ishola Akinpelu who also likes to be referred to as "Emperor". I call him "Em" for short. Despite being an obvious butt of jokes in one of the groups I'm in, and knowing all about this blog where I expose idiots and publish inbox exchanges online, he continues to be oblivious and has somehow confused my mocking satire with a genuine belief that we are in some sort of real relationship. I've been keeping a satirical diary of our "e-lationship" in this group for sheer giggles and invited all members to our e-wedding. One of my ...
Read more

He really appreciates me

Image
Part of me would like to visit Africa and see for myself how all the billions we've donated to the country has been spent. It seems that, other than the corrupt governments stealing most of it, the majority of the population has invested in internet connectivity and mobile phones rather than clean water and toilet paper. They then try making money by scamming the intellectually challenged idiots on Facebook. Or, in this case, getting subtly mocked for their lack of general understanding.
Read more

He's not a rapist; he's Toto Robach

Image
So this is Toto Robach . He's your typical average man of the Islamic faith who claims to be nice, not a retarded goat fucking pervert, and "isn't like the others" and won't try to rape my inbox or send me a photo of his tiny, diseased, and probably malfunctioning penis. He's not a terrorist either and won't threaten to kill me, rape me or do anything nasty like all the other men from Durkfuckistan do. To be fair, he started out as politely as they all do. I made sure I gave him fair warning that he shouldn't expect much from me. After a week or so of trying to get me to marry him, move to Algeria and become some kind of housewife, he then - shock horror - started to want to talk about sex. He seemed to be very knowledgeable about sex for someone who claimed to be a virgin. Naturally his comment about being educated by a married man mad me question his sexuality. He didn't seem to appreciate that very much... So after a few...
Read more