Heather's Inbox

When random people inbox me saying they love my blog posts and books - or are obviously aware of my books - and then get offended and upset when their attempts to try and elicit romantic and/or otherwise serious chats is met with the sarcasm my books are popular for, it's quite amusing. When people inbox me with those stupid "send this to 10 friends you care about" or "today is National stick a finger inside an Ostrich day, pass this on to everyone on your friends list to save the ostrich" or "send this on to everyone on your friends list otherwise you'll contract cancer" I get a teeny weeny bit annoyed. Personally if I was laying in a hospital bed, dying of terminal cancer, and a friend or family member walked in and said "Hi Heather, sorry that you're going to die a slow and painful death but I've just started a prayer chain on Facebook for you. I hope that makes you feel better." I'd probably get out of bed and cho...

I wonder if any Nigerian man has ever successfully seduced a gormless white girl and got her to pay for his flights. I imagine it's unlikely. I hope it never happens. And I'm not being racist...

Every so often I get asked by one of my friends to wind someone up on their behalf. Usually when someone gets an unsolicited message from a horny Indian or a random Nigerian asking them for money. I also like responding to the Nigerian scammers who email people. Anyway, I recently met someone who is... well... a bit like me. I mean seriously it's like she's my clone or something. She does exactly the same thing I do: winds up the sexual predators and scammers on Facebook and publishes the conversations online for the amusement of others. Needless to say we get on very well. We recently decided to team up in a joint effort to baffle an African man who wanted her to pay for him to come over to Australia, marry her and basically get a green card. I played her psychotic ex girlfriend (yes, that's right). It's a bit different but a change is good...