Heather's Inbox

I think Jeremy Clarkson got it right when he suggested all lorry drivers are rapists. Of course then he got sacked from the BBC for punching a producer in the face because he didn't have a steak dinner.

I wonder what kind of response I'd get if I walked up to an American and wished them a happy St George's Day. They'd probably shoot me and then sue me for wasting their bullet. That's what most Americans do, right? So this is Barry. He seems to be a bit dense. He seems to think anyone who doesn't live in America must hate America. He blocked me. However, a few weeks later he was back, happy and chatty. We exchanged quite a few messages where he ranged from polite to angry to suicidal. I would post the entire conversation here but you'd probably die of boredom.

Heather's Yes or No Game. The rules are very simple. A bit like the contestants...

I don't think I've ever actually listened to a Tom Jones song. Didn't he do a duet with some croaky voiced Welsh tart about 20 years ago? That was shit.

Introducing Heather's Yes or No Game. The rules are very simple. A bit like the contestants...

Ear piercing may not hurt your head but people who use double negatives hurt mine. I once heard someone use the phrase "I aint not done nothing". That's a triple negative. It completely blew my mind. The use of double negatives is right up there with the things that are sure to make me want to commit murder. Other things that make me want to stab people are those who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're", "its" and "it's", "there", "their" and "they're". Hearing a Justin Bieber song also makes me want to stab someone - preferably Justin Bieber.