Posts

Is English the same as Spanish?

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There are a few stock questions that facebook mutants ask when they first harass my inbox. These are: "which one r u in the pic?", "how old r u", "do u like sex?" and "where r u from?" The last question is one in which I always ask them to guess. The answers are usually quite interesting...

I'll marry you and become a ninja

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I'm not sure I'd want to marry someone who already had kids. The responsibility of raising someone else's children is just too much. And it's not like I'd feel comfortable disciplining them. Mind you, if I'd married this guy he would have probably taken his belt to me for having an opinion. Or convinced me to don a special rucksack and martyr myself... and I'm not having a dig at any cult in particular.

Shall I hand you a cyber magnifying glass?

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Since graduating from university, I've developed a new sense of maturity. I no longer feel the intense urge to go out and drink until I bleed, spend all day in bed, confuse lecturers and fellow students with my theories on how the universe was created by a carrot and the big bang by giant intergalactic jump leads and semtex. Actually that's not entirely true. I still drink far too much alcohol. I also drink far too much coffee and I'm still up at the crack of dawn because I'm wired from all the coffee I've drunk. I also still believe that carrots are the centre of the universe and I also think the moon is just the back of the sun and the earth is banana shaped. I'm also still very keen to tell everyone about these theories, whether they want to hear them or not. Having said all that, it's been a couple of years since I've got drunk and vomited on my shoes so I have matured a little bit...

Yes and No with Charles Gregg

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Heather's Yes or No Game. The rules are very simple. A bit like the contestants...

Yes and No with Srinivasrao Bengaluru

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Heather's Yes or No Game. The rules are very simple. A bit like the contestants...

Geography lessons with an Arab

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I'm quite happy that I wasn't born in somewhere like Saudi Arabia. I mean, despite the fact that I haven't driven a car since passing my test when I was 17, it's nice to have the choice to if I wanted. If I lived over there I'd get stoned to death within five minutes - and not the good kind of stoned...

Yes and No with Ash Dempc

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It's amazing how some guys just don't give up...